I’ve had a lot of success throughout my career, but I don’t think any of it felt as good as my first match back after rupturing my achilles.
It was a preseason game, almost six months to the day after my surgery.
Being out there on the court after not even knowing if I was even going to have a senior season was unmatched.
The chills and emotions, my teammates screaming my name, and hearing my name announced over the loudspeaker after everything I’d gone through and how hard I’d fought to come back — there was nothing like it.
Just being able to do that with a group of girls I care about so, so much — I’ll never forget that feeling.
Growing up
Growing up, I played a variety of sports, including volleyball.
I have a sister who’s five years older than me, who also played volleyball, so I grew up watching her compete.
I was always told that it was about finding the sport that was best for me.
Ultimately, that ended up being volleyball.
I decided that volleyball was my happy place — something I really wanted to commit to, get better at, and pursue as far as I could.
Transitioning from high school to college brought along many challenges I would have never expected, though.
I was a 2020 high school graduate, which means I graduated during COVID.
That meant that my freshman season was canceled or postponed.
At the time, I also needed surgery and ultimately decided to take a gap year and prolong my transition to college.
During this period, I worked as a nurse assistant and also got the surgery I needed and recovered.
I re-classed to the following year.
I was blessed to have an incredible support system around me that helped make the transition as smooth as possible.
Every road bump, every challenge I faced — I never had to face it alone, which was incredible.
Diagnosis
I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease the day I left home in Chicago for my first Division I preseason at William & Mary.
I got the test results literally as I was moving across the country.
I was terrified.
At first, I told as few people as possible.
Most of my coaches didn’t know, my teammates didn’t know, my athletic trainer didn’t know, my strength coach didn’t know — I didn't share my diagnosis with many because I was so scared that this was going to get in the way of me earning a spot and proving myself for something I’ve trained so hard for my whole life.
It didn't take long before realizing that this approach wasn’t sustainable.
So, I slowly started opening up about my diagnosis to people in my close circle, and eventually progressed into starting my own organization, connecting with others, and helping others through a similar experience
It’s affected every single aspect of my experience as a student-athlete — there was no way around it.
There are some things that have looked a bit different for me than for the average person, and that’s okay.
I wouldn’t trade the experiences I’ve had and the people I’ve met for the world.
I think emphasizing the importance of it being possible to play sports in college, no matter the circumstance, is so important to me.
And I've been so fortunate to have had the support system I had as I navigated that process.
Injuries
When I ruptured my achilles, I was actually coming back from another surgery.
I had a knee surgery that I was recovering from — recovering very well from. I was working my way back onto the court and had gotten to the point where I was playing full strength.
We were in a practice, and I took a step off on defense and immediately went down.
I pretty much knew what happened right away.
My athletic trainer came over and right away, she knew, too.
My athletic trainer at the time was one of the most incredible people I’ve ever gotten to work with throughout my collegiate career, and she really helped guide me through that experience emotionally and physically.
Things moved pretty quickly from there after I got hurt.
In the same day, I got x-rays and an MRI, met with a surgeon, and scheduled surgery.
Meanwhile, my mom and sister were figuring out flights so they could come be with me for surgery and recovery.
Because this injury happened going into my senior season, there were so many questions and a lot to process and work through.
I just tried to take things one day at a time because looking at the big picture was so overwhelming.
I’m so thankful for the support I had from my coaches, teammates, family, friends, my athletic trainer, and everyone else who stepped up during what was a very low point in my career.
The biggest piece of advice I’d give is to not be afraid to lean on those around you and know that you don’t have to do everything by yourself.
That includes physical and mental processing.
I ruptured my Achilles in my right leg, which means I was on crutches for an extended period of time and couldn’t drive. I basically became completely dependent on those around me, and as a very independent person, that was super tough and took some getting used to.
I learned that it’s okay to ask for things when I need them.
It’s okay to ask for help, and that’s something that, from a mental health perspective, I’ve been preaching for a long time. When it came around to it, I had a very hard time doing it myself.
That goes for the mental piece of it, too.
It’s okay to talk to people and be emotional, work through things, and admit to struggling because it is a very hard thing to go through.
That is my biggest takeaway and number one piece of advice — trust your support system, lean on them, and allow them to help you because it’s not something we’re meant to go through alone.
The more you can lean on those people who care about you, the better off you’re going to be, and the faster you’re going to recover.
Mental health
My entire experience as a college athlete has been one big mental health journey.
I started with The Hidden Opponent, a mental health in sport organization, during my freshman year, right around the same time I got diagnosed.
I didn’t know it at the time, but it was the best thing that could’ve happened to me.
Not only did it educate me on how to help others work through mental health and work towards breaking the stigma of mental health in athletics, but it also helped me grow on my own individual mental health journey.
The curveballs that college athletics threw at me, and life in general, sometimes felt like they were never-ending.
Being equipped with tools and a support system made all the difference in the world for me when it came to facing those challenges.
That doesn’t mean it was easy or linear, in any way. It just means I had people backing me every step of the way, which I’m so grateful for.
After I graduate from William & Mary, I'm pursuing a Master of Science in Clinical Nutrition at Rush University in Chicago, which is where I'm originally from! I am really looking forward to this next chapter.
I also currently serve as the social media manager for The Hidden Opponent, and I plan to continue with that special organization.
As of now, I’m hoping to end up back in the sports industry working as a sports dietitian somewhere and continue to lead and inspire other athletes.
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📷 Amy Schwem and William & Mary Athletics
